CRABAPPLES “RULES OF THE HOUSE”
GOLDEN RULE:
SHE WITH THE GOLDEN HAIR RULES !
(WE ALL KNOW WHO SHE IS)
Rule # 1: No drinking outside
Rule # 2: Ignore rule #1 & you will be
kicked out permanently
Rule # 3: No fuckin swearin
Rule # 4: No flirtsy, squirtsy arriva dirtchy
Rule # 5: Anyone writing on or defacing anything will be kicked out
Rule # 6: Kwitcherbitchen
Rule # 7: No sleepin in the bushes
Rule # 8: You cannot save back-up cups for another day
Rule # 9: We have a dress code (anything but naked)
Rule # 10: If you don’t show up at your usual time,
you have to pay a $10 late fee
Rule # 11: No spitting sunflower seeds or tobacco
Rule # 12: What happens at the “apple” stays at the “apple”
Rule # 13: Do not touch tap handles or you will be kicked out
Rule # 14: Quit bitchin’ about the heat
Rule # 15: No shorts after labor day
Rule # 16: Rick can only play Titanic once a nite
Rule #17: There’s a seat for every ass & an ass for every seat
Rule #18: Just shut up & start knockin’ em back!